Why I could never be a hair stylist

I have a confession to make.  Some of you already know this about me, if you don’t. I am not ashamed of it.  I get my hair done at the local beauty school.  My hair is high maintenance, but unfortunately, my budget is not.  I would love nothing more than to get weekly mani/pedis and shop for expensive shoes and pocket books afterward, but, at the moment, it’s not in the cards.  For now, to manage my dark roots so that I do not look like a down- on- her -luck Anna Nicole (may she rest in peace), I get my hair done by students.  It’s no big deal, really.  You get professional quality and sometimes service, for less than $20.00.  I am not kidding!  Sometimes they have specials and you’ll only pay $16.00 for a cut, color and style.  It’s insanity!  They use professional products and they are not allowed to touch your hair with any pair of scissors or chemical until their salon-owning teacher has approved it.  Yes, you miss out on the whole salon experience, but who cares?  The beauty school is teeming with blog material.  It’s almost too easy.  So what if the last  evening student who did my hair looked like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs?  Who am I to judge?    I am always down for an adventure and I am open minded.  If you are too, then go ahead, make an appointment.  I dare you!

So, this afternoon a sweet late-twenty something was doing my hair.  She had conservative hair for a beauty school student.  She had soft brown curls with bangs, it was pulled up on the sides with a little pony tail secured on the top of her head.  She apologized for her eye shadow though, “I normally don’t look like this.”  I cocked my head quizzically, one shouldn’t make assumptions at the beauty school.  “My eyeshadow.  We had ‘exchanges’ today where we had to allow another student to do our makeup.  I already scrubbed off the blush, it was too much.”  With that, I noticed behind her glasses the dramatic aqua eyeshadow and heavy black eyeliner.  I replied, “I like it.  But I love makeup, so I think it looks good.”  I told the truth and she smiled.

It was going into my third hour at the beauty school (sometimes you get a slow one, so you have to keep thinking about how CHEAP it is!) when a man in his late thirties sat down into the chair next to mine.  I only pulled my face out of my magazine because I clearly heard how he described the haircut he was there for.  “You see this length in the back?  Keep it.  I want the sides and the top cut short.  I need the sideburns trimmed up too.”  No way!  He was asking for a mullet!  If I were doing his hair I would have to speak up and say, “Let’s be clear, you are asking me to shape up this mullet, right?”  In case you are unaware, a mullet is the classic hairdo often described as, “business in the front, party in the back.”  In fact, even if you’ve been skilled in the arts of the mullet since the eighties, you should click on this link, as it gives side AND front views of the hair cut as well as it’s historical relevance.  I love wikipedia.

The Kentucky Waterfall

There are many different versions of the mullet.  My favorite is the one that I have posted above.  It’s not only long, but long and flowing in the back.  Truly a timeless look.  The man who was requesting the haircut followed his instructions with, “I am growing it out in the back for a reason.”  I suspect I know the reason.  The Kentucky Waterfall, Baby.

I had to keep from laughing.  I literally wanted to laugh out loud and into tears.  It was funny in the way that only things that happen when it is inappropriate to laugh are funny. Hilarious.  I proceeded to text my friend Missy, my cousins Lora and Beth, my sisters, my husband and my sister-in-law, Jill.  I had to do something to help me focus.  The text read, “I am getting my hair done at Empire.  As I type this, the dude that sat down in the chair next to me said…” and I went on to describe the aforementioned haircut.  I also added, “Just say what you mean, Dude.  Don’t mess with the mullet.”  Jill, my sister-in-law replied, “The mullet is a classic style that takes a while to perfect.  I can understand why one wouldn’t want it messed with.”  Again, hilarious!  This immature texting certainly didn’t make it any easier for me not to laugh.  But, in the words of Madonna, “Beauty is where you find it.”  Oh, I found it alright!  I intend to find it again at my next hair appointment.

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About Funny Little Pollywogs

I live life. My passions fuel me. I am thankful each and every day for all of the love that surrounds me. My hobbies are photography, writing and I am currently building a dollhouse. I have been on the road to motherhood for 6 long years. I hope that I will have my children in my arms some day soon, thanks to the very special gift of embryo adoption.
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2 Responses to Why I could never be a hair stylist

  1. Robin Gainer says:

    OK Baby Girl that is really funny:0) And I have a Great PIC with UR brother & Joey Zangary in their Mullets!!! Want to post IT???
    Love Mom

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