“Should I start the adoption process or try another round of IVF?”
A dear friend recently posed this question to a group of friends (including myself) who have been with her though several years of trying to conceive. I am posting the answer that I gave her, because it’s something that those of us who have been on the roller coaster of infertility really struggle with.
“As far as adoption goes, it’s something that you have to come to on your own. If you find yourself researching different adoption agencies and programs, then you might be ready. It doesn’t sound like hubby is there just yet, and that’s okay. You have to be be ready to jump in with both feet because the process can be emotionally draining(for many reasons) and complicated (I am talking paperwork, here). When you are both ready, you will know. It’s all you will talk about and you will be just as excited as you ever were to conceive a child. There is no harm in researching it and figuring out if it’s doable for you. When you start thinking of the possibility of bring your baby home in possibly a year and it being a sure thing, that all sounds REALLY good to those of us who have been wanting to be a mom forever. The abyss of uncertainty gets REALLY old. It eats away at your soul.
My other question is, have you been told why this didn’t work and why you are not conceiving? I was spinning my wheels for YEARS (all of you were right here with me) and I was ready to jump into IVF. Then, I decided to switch from a private practice to a teaching hospital and the gates to the Big Nursery opened up and Dr. Dodson was there, in his white robe (I mean blue scrubs) to tell me that IVF would probably NOT work for me, but that he was there to help. And, well, you know the rest. I am reminding you of this because it’s important to get the answers that you deserve so that you know the size of the mountain you are up against. This is just my 2 cents.
And then there’s always combining adoption and IVF! I am officially in my FET (frozen embryo transfer) cycle! I started Lupron in the belly yesterday!!! I am about to do another shot (not of vodka, of Lupron, it’s only 7:30 am) as soon as I am finished typing this! “
So, there’s my two cents. Tap, tap, tap. Is this thing on?