Happy Mother’s Day?
For some, not so much.
I don’t want to take away from the honor that we are giving the mothers in our lives. They deserve their special day. I would, however, like to make you aware that sometimes Mother’s Day is painful for those who are struggling to become mothers. This IS NOT about me. Don’t worry (Mom), I am fine! Really! But, I just wanted to make you aware that for some, it can be hard.
For example, I read on another blog about a woman who no longer goes to church on Mother’s Day because it is too painful for her. A few years back (yes, many of us have been struggling for YEARS), each mother at her church was given a carnation to honor her motherhood. Then, the mothers were asked to stand and be recognized for their roles as mothers. While this is wonderful, and I would never want to stop traditions such as this one, just pause and think about how painful that would be for someone who struggling to become a mom. How upsetting would that be for someone who is grieving a miscarriage?
While these traditions are wonderful in many ways, for some they are painful reminders of what seems is a rite of passage for every woman, that they are mostly alone. I say mostly alone because, of course, there are people who love and support these women, and want to see them become moms with all of their hearts. But at the end of the day, when it seems that everyone other woman that you know has been blessed with the experience of being someone’s mother, it feels like for some reason that you have been left out (I am switching between third and first person because I have been there). It feels like motherhood is exclusive, in other words, meant for everyone else but you. I’ll go as far to say that it can make one feel like God himself has forgotten about you. Again, I need to stress that this IS NOT about me. (Please don’t call and text me and be all sad and sorry for me. It’s not necessary. I am not in that place right now. Okay, you can buy me jewelry if you want to.) But, I have been there. And it’s a sad and lonely and place to be.
So, if there is someone you know who is still patiently waiting to become a mom, please think of her this weekend and, somehow, in your own sweet way, honor her. Let her know that she is going to be a great mom someday. Because, let’s be honest, if she wants it badly enough, she will be. Period. That’s the beautiful part of this! There are so many ways to become a mom. If she is a mom at heart, then there is nothing that is going to stop her. But, again, just let her know that you are thinking of her.
If you are reading this and still patiently waiting for someone to call you mom, choose to include yourself amongst those you are honoring this Sunday. Choose to honor the steps that you can take right now, that are within your control, to become a mom.
Here is your Virtual Mother’s Day Gift from me.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you Moms-in-waiting! Thinking of you and praying that you will have your babies in your arms really soon!