I am working so hard…

…at trying to disguise the effects that Lupron, Estrogen and an upcoming Frozen Embryo Transfer have on my body.  Just look at what has become of me.

The sun covers up estrogen induced pimples, my life jacket is covering up what resembles a late second trimester belly from the Lupron and leisure activities that are good for the soul offset the stress...what stress?

My head, heart and soul are in a really good place this cycle.  At the beginning of the cycle, I wondered, “Should I go into the cycle with really high hopes, putting all of my positive vibes out there into the Universe?  Should I go back to that place where I was?  Hoping, praying, believing?  Or, should I have NO expectations so that the possible let down won’t be as intense?  What’s better?  How should I mentally prepare myself?  Am I up for this?  What is the best approach???”

The answer?  I stopped myself in my own tracks and I turned it over.  I needed to STOP over thinking it.  I needed to take my medicine and to do absolutely nothing else other than to make sure that I am enjoying and appreciating summer and my friends and family, every single day.  Sure, I am praying and staying positive, but these days what’s swimming around in my head is a lot more peaceful than the desperate hand-wringing, begging, pleading and “what ifs” that were there before.

So, tomorrow I have an appointment to check my uterine lining and we’ll take it from there.  My challenge is going to be to keep this good mojo going throughout the next few weeks.  But, for today, I’m letting that go.  I’m not going to think about it too much…

About Funny Little Pollywogs

I live life. My passions fuel me. I am thankful each and every day for all of the love that surrounds me. My hobbies are photography, writing and I am currently building a dollhouse. I have been on the road to motherhood for 6 long years. I hope that I will have my children in my arms some day soon, thanks to the very special gift of embryo adoption.
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5 Responses to I am working so hard…

  1. Christina says:

    Glad you’re getting some summer fun in! All of this is so hard on the body! So far, I’ve managed to only get one small Lupron bruise on my belly! As for the bloating and blemishes…well, I’m not so lucky.

    For this cycle I’ve been going with the Akuna-matata (no worries) attitude. It’s been far easier! I didn’t even know I had it in me to not be so OCD. My husbands motto has always been to “expect the worst and you’re never disappointed”. With my first embryo transfer I really was expecting the worst and was pleasantly surprised with success. This last cycle in March, though, I had my hopes up high. I had no reason to think that it wasn’t going to go well, and the result–the miscarriage was very, very hard.

    The “middle road” that you’ve chosen of staying calm, doing what needs to be done, and enjoying yourself, really is the best way. Where does all the worrying and stressing get us anyway? It just takes a greater tole on our bodies and minds.

    I’ll be checking back to see how your ultrasound went and I hope all is well for a transfer next week!

  2. Hugs Sweet friend!!!

  3. Ashley says:

    Great outlook! I’m trying to do the same thing and not overthink every little detail! Best of luck to you!

  4. Jennifer says:

    I know exactly where you are because I’m right there with ya too! 🙂

  5. Briana's Mom says:

    Perfect attitude! Just do all your “homework” 😉 and continue to live life! I know it can be difficult when the meds don’t always make you feel the best, but trying to relax as much as possible will definitely help.

    I hoping and praying for you!

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