This calls for an investigation.

We’re talking about an investigation of my uterus, of course.

Unfortunately, the two home pregnancy tests that I took on Sunday and Monday were both negative.  Sunday was a day of sadness and that’s what inspired me to write the Looking In blog post.  When your hope is riding so high and then you are faced with the disappointment of an unsuccessful treatment, the pain is acute and all consuming.  The last thing I wanted to do was to come on here and spew negativity.  I thought it would be much more productive to try to paint a clear picture of what I was feeling.  Perhaps by doing so, others might not feel so profoundly alone.

I also hope that by  getting a tiny glimpse into what we feel, that those who don’t struggle with infertility might know how better to support those of us who do.  It’s difficult for everyone and it must be so hard to know what to say to someone like me if you haven’t been through it yourself.  It’s a slippery slope for sure.  I read things like, “Fertiles just don’t get it!”,  on other people’s blogs, referring to when someone says something that is upsetting while trying to be supportive.  Unless someone is being intentionally rude, I just don’t think that its fair or helpful to polarize ourselves.  I think education is the better approach, so that was me trying to build a bridge while expressing my sadness.  (For the record I don’t get the whole fertiles vs. infertiles thing.  It sort of makes me cringe.  Some of my biggest supporters are “fertiles.”)

Back to the investigation. My negative results were confirmed by my blood test today.  Dr. Dodson feels that we should “investigate my uterus” before going into another transfer cycle. Doesn’t that sound like fun?! He wants to be sure that there is nothing going on that could impede implantation.  He told me that he wants to see me for a follow up appointment so we can discuss what he feels are the best options.  I am guessing that my options might be a hysterosalpingogram, (say that ten times fast) or perhaps an exploratory Laparoscopy, but who knows, he might even have some other fun- filled adventure in store.  I asked him why he couldn’t just give me my options today, we could decide on the best one and then schedule it.  He replied, “Because I need to look over all of the information I have and really think about what the best course of action is for you.  I don’t want to shoot from the hip.” This man is nothing if not thorough.

So, while it is disappointing that I am dealing with yet another setback, I know that I am in good hands.  I just hope that whatever the course of action is, that I am able to jump back into the saddle really soon.  I have snowbabies that need to be in my arms, STAT!  I’m serious, enough already with my stubborn uterus.  My follow-up is Friday.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

*By the way, thank you so much for your thoughtful comments on my Looking In post.  If any of you bloggers ever want to repost it, just let me know and please be sure to link back to my blog.  That would make me smile and I could pretend like I am an author.

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About Funny Little Pollywogs

I live life. My passions fuel me. I am thankful each and every day for all of the love that surrounds me. My hobbies are photography, writing and I am currently building a dollhouse. I have been on the road to motherhood for 6 long years. I hope that I will have my children in my arms some day soon, thanks to the very special gift of embryo adoption.
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11 Responses to This calls for an investigation.

  1. Jennifer says:

    I’m sorry to hear of your negative beta. But, I’m glad to know that your doctor is going to explore new options and a possible better course of action for you and your snowbabies. He sounds like a really great doctor!

  2. I’m so, so very sorry!!!

    I had both, HSG and Laps, many times- both statistically increase your odds of getting pregnant in the next 3 months- so go for it!!!

    Did your doctor do the saline ultrasound, yet? I have not had that one done yet….

    Hugs!!!

  3. jessica says:

    {{{HUGS}}} So sorry about the BFN. 😦 It sounds like your RE is great and I will be praying for you as you purue further testing and that you get some answers.

  4. SO SORRY. So glad you have such a positive outlook and so thankful you love these babies enough to give them a shot at life. Will continue to follow your journey to your babies!

  5. Ashley says:

    So sorry to hear about your negative beta. Sounds like you have a good doctor looking out for you, though. Here’s hoping he finds the “problem” and can quickly correct it! You have a great outlook!

  6. Briana's Mom says:

    I’m so sorry. My heart really is crushed for you. I have a feeling he might go the laparoscopy route – just to go inside and look around. I did the hysterosalpingagram before any fertility treatment and found out my tubes were open, but I never did the laparoscopy. I’ve always wondered if I have slight endometriosis and just don’t know it.

    I am going to link to your “looking in” post soon. Just wanted you to know. Hugs.

  7. Laura says:

    BIG BIG hugs! Glad to hear you are in good hands with the doc. Hang in there and call or email if you need to “chat”. Love ya, Laura

  8. Karaleen says:

    So sorry for the BFN. I have had way too many of those and I know how it feels. But I really do like your Dr. and am so happy he is doing everything he can to give you the best chance for future success. I still believe you will make your way into that cottage….it took me a long, long time…but I made it…so I know it is worth the journey.
    kd

  9. Christina says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your BFN! I do hope your uterine investigation goes well. I’ve had a SHG, but not the HSG. It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t too terrible either. I get my big news tomorrow (so far the HPT’s aren’t looking good). I hope you find success soon!

  10. Emily Shew says:

    So sorry about the disappointing news! I have been checking in on your blog hoping to hear your dreams had come true and my heart aches to hear of another unsuccessful transfer. It is good to hear that your hope stands strong and I pray the Lord continues to sustain you through this difficult journey. I hope all goes well with “the investigation” and any problems quickly solved. Praying that the third time is a charm!!

  11. kim p. says:

    Sorry to hear of the negative results, Lacie. I have been thinking of you these past few weeks. It sounds like you have a great doctor, and he will do everything within his power to make this happen for you. You have a great attitude! I hope to hear from/see you soon! Tell Michael hello from me and “Rambo” 🙂
    much love,
    Kim

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